Inside the mind of a stranger...

School over! Yay!

Ok so about my finals... they all went good except for the studio final. Bro I fucking fumbled that shit ohhh myyy gooood. Stuttering and trembling for nothing bro. I don't wanna see my score for that assignment (although its probably going to be a B). Now I'm just waiting for if I get accepted to my third year. Birthday came and went. My friend and I went to go shop at some malls. I got myself some USAHANA earrings, ANOTHER miku figure, and a skirt. Hoping that I'll start wearing skirts this summer. Fingers crossed. Also went to an actual Mexican restaurant and ate some actual Mexican food. OMFG that shit was good I need to make out with the person who invented quesabrillas. I was considering buying myself an ita bag but decided not to for now. If I find 20 dollars on the floor I'll buy it.

I have time to do stuff now! I already posted my first Youtube video! That shit was kinda embarrassing lowkey. But! I did it! I recorded the second one but the whole thing looked awful so I'm going to rerecord it later this week. Don't know when. I've also been thinking of making videos critiquing artwork people send me. Critiquing is one of my favorite things to do, and I always love helping people and giving advice. Even if I absolutely suck at teaching and explaining more complex stuff. For my summer goals, I'm hoping to keep working on the site, mayybe open up commissions, and finish writing Last Resort. I showed my friends a wip and their horrified faces made me laugh so hard. Too bad for them that I'm rewriting that scene to be even more disgusting. It's close to being done, but I hate writing so it's been taking a while (cough 2 years cough).

I've also been in a bit of an art slump. I recently drew something that I was really proud of (a drawing of Utsuro from Danganrompa Another and of Marzo). However, I noticed that my rendering style didn't fit with the vibe I was going for. My art looks wahed out and dull, even with the amount of filters I've slapped on. The drawing also took me 8 hours, double the time that it usually takes me to do art. I figure it's probably because it's two people and that I didn't just trace over a model, but still... sigh. I'm gonna have to find out a more stremlined way to do digital art, which means that I have to start studying again. It sucks having to go back to square one, but I'll have to if I want to improve.

I've decided, for the sake of my laziness and how little time I have, to start doing these monthly. I have only 3 weeks left of school, and I am busy as all hell. I've been getting more and more lazy and I KNOW that I'll be working from 2pm to 2am just like last semester. Sigh. At least my meds are helping me with the stress. I haven't been feeling down in ages :)

Site revamp is going alright. I worry that I'll not be able to reach peak like my main page, but that's ok. I'm currently trying to find out the layout of my music page, since I haven't touched that shit in ages. But I'm too busy, so that will have to wait until after finals.

Went shopping in some malls. I got a box of washi tapes for like 14 dollars! They're usually like 24 dollars back home, so I'm super excited to use them. Got 2 mini miku figurines :) The Miku collection grows. Maybe I should make a miku shrine for the site (and for my bedroom)... I'll keep it in mind.

I'm getting into rhythm games again. I found out how to mod Project Diva Mega Mix so I've stuck just about every song I know into the game. I can barely clear songs on hard tho. My left hand moves twice as slow as my right, so I basically have to train my hand how to move. I've also began to play project sekai too. Just for the music tho. Idc abt the story.

Since my stress has lessened considerably, I've been making comics! I've finished 3 (?) already. They're of my Danganronpa Another OC (cough its just Marzo). Very self indulgent. I'll think about posting them on tumblr.

Also... GUESS WHO HAS THE NEW TOMODACHI LIFE GAME???? MEEE!!! YIPPEE! A dream come true ngl Cami if you're reading this ily thanks for helping me get it <3 Currently no drama yet... I really want to add more characters asap so that there's more chances of stuff happening.

wahh i wrote a lot! umm alright that's it wish me luck on my finals guys i am going to need it

Heyyy, I'm still alliveee!

So sorry for not posting, life has been hectic. Projects on projects, being an adult, all at the same time! My head hurts! My back hurts! My heart hurts! Owchies everyday! Stress 24/7!

Finally found out what's been causing me all of these memory loss and lack of motivation... its that goddamn ADHD. Inattentive ADHD to be specific. To be honest, I didn't really think that I had it. I assumed that 'oh, I'm not hyper, so I don't have it!' Yeah no lol I do. I've started meds, so hopefully I'll see a change. I was looking back at my old blog posts and tbh I do kind of see it. I may be dumb lol.

I am currently going through a huge revamp of my whole site! I finally settled on the dark coquette aesthetic (my dream wardrobe fr), so I have to painstakingly update everything to match. I think I have the homepage finished but I'll have to double check. I won't update it right now but I'll definitely do when I have the time.

Hopefully I'll survive the next few weeks. Bye!

Midterms are coming up!

Yay.

My classes have been getting harder and harder. I haven't really had time to to anything. I haven't touched a fanfic. I haven't picked up my drawing tablet. I have been listening to the same four songs because I'm too busy to download more. It's insane. Luckily, spring break is next week, so I have some time to relax.

Of course, all of this stress is never good for a human being, much less a below average health person like myself. I walked all the way to the mall to cheer myself up after a shitty night. I promised myself that I would spend 40 dollars but ended up spending like 60. Ouch. But I got 3 shirts that I could wear with my binder without overheating, so that's good. And I got some brown eyeliner and purple lipstick. My favorite one is running out, and I have to replace it since the shade is discontinued.

All in all, me tired so me no posting soon.

[glances at you]

[glances at the date]

So… You can see that I haven't been posting… To be honest, I probably should've updated over the weekend. I had a lot of free time bc I only had 1 assignment to do compared to the 6 that I usually have. But I decided to take a break from everything.

Architecture is NOT for the week. Imagine staying up 'til midnight and being told that you had to start from scratch again. UGH!!! I am this close from having a good design, but I still have to work out like… 1 or 2 more kinks.

As for the site, I really don't have anything to update or add. I am redoing the Marzopan page to make it look more like a wikipedia article, but that's mostly it. I need to make and draw ref sheets for Marzo. lol imagine having a self insert and having no actual art or lore of them??? couldn't be me.

Sigh... I don't know what to write about. I should be doing homework right now but I'm not. I'm already a month in and I'm already counting down the days for spring break. I've been noticing that my memory has been getting worse and now I'm starting to notice it in some of my classes. I have an assignment due on Friday and I don't remember what the professor wants us to do. And I can't get accommodations because I haven't been diagnosed with anything UGH!!!

So yeah. Not fun. I have drawn a bit though. I finally figured out my line art style and I'm happy. Now I just need to work on my rendering and I'm all set.

Hi! Um.. remember when I said that I was going to update a whole lot? So.. uhh..

Winter break has got me feeling lazy as fuck. I have done nothing over break. I've finished Fallout New Vegas and immediately became obsessed with Project Zomboid, so I've had no time to draw. I've just been doom scrolling. I guess its a good thing. I really needed the time to just calm down and do nothing. But at the same time, I have the overwhelming urge to complete something. To do projects! Draw! Write! Code! I just wanna do something with my hands.

Christmas and New Years was fun. Because of what's been happening in America right now we didn't have people over, and my parents weren't able to get anything for me. But its alright. Took my actual first sip of alcohol for the first time too. Tasted like dogshit and I felt tired after.

I have classes in a few days, so I'm going to be taking the rest of the time to continue to chill before I go back into the hell that is school.

Nothing much for the site. I am going to try and start redesigning my Ratio shrine and updating the videogame page, but other than that, nothing new.